new things coming!!!

So... the eyrie's been a little quiet lately. Only a little.

But not for long!

New things have been happening! For instance.. there are a few pages to check out up there ^^

the burd - a little about me

the up-and-coming-hatchlings - news about stuff I'm working on writing right now

the news - general updates and such so that I don't have to clutter up the eyrie with news posts! I'll be updating this pretty regularly...

the books - list of books I love

the music - same as above but with songs.

There's more to come... I've been working on a new template design... (check out my picture on my profile page to catch a glimpse of what's to come...) and I have lots of things to post but no time to edit and type them up! So they'll slowly make their way here... eventually :)

But anyways.

This season seems to be a weary time, a trudging-slowly-trying-to-keep-going time. A time to grow and live and hurt and reach for something better, something brighter, something holier than before. A time to learn to walk upon our wings.

From what I'm reading and hearing, it seems like some of you are also there.

Frustration - a deep chronic sense or state of insecurity and dissatisfaction arising from unresolved problems or unfulfilled needs; the feeling of being upset or annoyed, especially because of inability to change or achieve something.*

I read that today and sighed.

Having needs, knowing what those needs are, and getting them met are three totally different things. Insecurity has roots in communication, confidence, competence, and contentment. Dissatisfaction leads to bitterness, and annoyance to irritability.

Not a good mix for one who wants to be good.

...

Psalm 17 (NIV)

1 Hear, O LORD, my righteous plea;

listen to my cry.

Give ear to my prayer—

it does not rise from deceitful lips.

2 May my vindication come from you;

may your eyes see what is right.

3 Though you probe my heart and examine me at night,

though you test me, you will find nothing;

I have resolved that my mouth will not sin.

4 As for the deeds of men—

by the word of your lips

I have kept myself

from the ways of the violent.

5 My steps have held to your paths;

my feet have not slipped.

6 I call on you, O God, for you will answer me;

give ear to me and hear my prayer.

7 Show the wonder of your great love,

you who save by your right hand

those who take refuge in you from their foes.

8 Keep me as the apple of your eye;

hide me in the shadow of your wings

9 from the wicked who assail me,

from my mortal enemies who surround me.

10 They close up their callous hearts,

and their mouths speak with arrogance.

11 They have tracked me down, they now surround me,

with eyes alert, to throw me to the ground.

12 They are like a lion hungry for prey,

like a great lion crouching in cover.

13 Rise up, O LORD, confront them, bring them down;

rescue me from the wicked by your sword.

14 O LORD, by your hand save me from such men,

from men of this world whose reward is in this life.

You still the hunger of those you cherish;

their sons have plenty,

and they store up wealth for their children.

15 And I—in righteousness I will see your face;

when I awake, I will be satisfied with seeing your likeness.

Psalm 25 (NIV)

1To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul;

2 in you I trust, O my God.

Do not let me be put to shame,

nor let my enemies triumph over me.

3 No one whose hope is in you

will ever be put to shame,

but they will be put to shame

who are treacherous without excuse.

4 Show me your ways, O LORD,

teach me your paths;

5 guide me in your truth and teach me,

for you are God my Savior,

and my hope is in you all day long.

6 Remember, O LORD, your great mercy and love,

for they are from of old.

7 Remember not the sins of my youth

and my rebellious ways;

according to your love remember me,

for you are good, O LORD.

8 Good and upright is the LORD;

therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.

9 He guides the humble in what is right

and teaches them his way.

10 All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful

for those who keep the demands of his covenant.

11 For the sake of your name, O LORD,

forgive my iniquity, though it is great.

12 Who, then, is the man that fears the LORD ?

He will instruct him in the way chosen for him.

13 He will spend his days in prosperity,

and his descendants will inherit the land.

14 The LORD confides in those who fear him;

he makes his covenant known to them.

15 My eyes are ever on the LORD,

for only he will release my feet from the snare.

16 Turn to me and be gracious to me,

for I am lonely and afflicted.

17 The troubles of my heart have multiplied;

free me from my anguish.

18 Look upon my affliction and my distress

and take away all my sins.

19 See how my enemies have increased

and how fiercely they hate me!

20 Guard my life and rescue me;

let me not be put to shame,

for I take refuge in you.

21 May integrity and uprightness protect me,

because my hope is in you.

22 Redeem Israel, O God,

from all their troubles!

...

On a lighter note, here are some random happy pictures from the last couple of weeks!

A lovely bracelet from my grandparents for Easter... I love it!

Greasy hands from robotics! I like making/fixing the chains on our robot... they're similar to bicycle chains... very greasy... but I like the way they feel. So anytime a chain needs to be fixed, I'm the one they call... the mentors tease me for being a girl who doesn't mind getting her hands dirty. :D

Some drawings that I did while trying to come up with ideas for the new blog design:

I'm not using either of these, but these are similar to my final decision... which I'm not showing you until it's done :P

My desk during online class... complete with oatmeal, yogurt, and orange juice...

My new little succulent... it's called a "Powder Puff"... and it's supposed to be soaked with water every once in a while instead of sprinkled with water daily. Which I like.

My new shoes! I love them! I've always wanted a pair of Converse... and we got yellow so that I could wear them for my robotics team (whose colors are blue and yellow).

Some pretty pictures from the beach...

And... drumroll please... a picture of my team's robot! Beach 'Bot 2010!

Enjoy :)

*(Definition is a combination of M-W.com and Oxford American Dictionaries)

in-verse

Here, you thought
Spring is here
It IS almost March, after all
But the leaves fall
And fall
And you know, really,
It's just autumn in disguise.

Now, you thought,
Peace is come
A respite-time to grow and keep
But the waters rage,
And rage,
And you know, really,
It's just anger in disguise.

Come, you thought,
It will get better,
And the skies clear,
And my eyes clear,
But it rains,
And rains,
And you know, really,
It pains.

f (x) means do to x whatever f means
and f^(-1)(x) means do the opposite.

If seasons were functions
I'm stuck in the inverse
universe.

Practicing Relationships.

I sense a tension between the ideal of authenticity and the desire for others' good will. I wonder, do we really want to know others' true state of heart? Or would we, would I, rather just have them lie to me so that I feel appreciated--so that I feel accepted? I might readily accept the latter, I find to my dismay.

Are we supposed to outwardly appear to accept what inwardly we despise, in an effort to love?

From the one side, it's so hard sometimes to put kindly what I mean kindly--to let someone know that what they do offends me. Not that it's not worth it; I'm trying to figure out if it is worth it. If it is--then I must at least try to do it.

My struggle is that if they don't understand, it's so difficult to make amends. And if they do understand--it's still usually difficult to make amends. It seems to break relationships rather than fix them. But perhaps the breaking is part of the fixing--like re-breaking a broken arm that is healing crooked.

From the other side--in thought I would rather have someone tell me the truth, but in reality I am not sure. If the person loves me, cares enough to put it kindly, and help me learn to do better, than I would welcome it. If the person does not care, then in the first place he or she probably wouldn't bring it up, but in the second place would not try to say it kindly and probably hurt me.

How is love supposed to show itself? Is it more loving to gruffly let someone know I don't care--or to appear to listen while inwardly seething? How disgusting that I must ask the question.

...

How confusing our way of talking is! Yet it's so plain, teasing. We pretend to offend, pretend to be offended, and underneath the whole we love each other. And where we have to try to be kind, have to appear to accept--there often is the person we struggle the most accepting, and who senses it the least.

How strange it would be to talk without a mask, that really isn't a mask. Is a transparent mask so bad? Those who know me see through it, and those who don't don't care, usually.

...

I wonder why we don't notice the little things that show others we love them. Things so simple, so easy--but they require stepping out of our comfort zones, letting down our hair a little, letting go the "that's mine!" mentality, opening up. I never realized how private we are, how mine I've made the things I claim.

I wonder what meeting an open soul would be like--someone whose heart was open, and welcoming--and no matter what happened there--loving. Who knew when and how to overlook, and when and how to be overlooked.

Salutations

1) Hear: "Hey! How are you?"


2) Part A: Think: "Hello. I appreciate how much originality you put into your greeting--it truly communicates how much you care. I exist through the grace and power of God just as I have before now and just as I always will. 


Really? I'm tired.


It's so nice to see you--your smile makes my heart glad. You remind me that God is bigger than my circumstance. And you don't even try. I'm amazed at how unique and wonderful you are--what God has wrought in you. But what's going on in your life? What are you struggling with? What makes you happy, and what makes you sad? Is there anything God has shown you recently that has totally transformed your perspective?"

2) Part B: Realize that might be awkward.

2) Part C: Say "Oh, I'm good. You?"