in-verse

Here, you thought
Spring is here
It IS almost March, after all
But the leaves fall
And fall
And you know, really,
It's just autumn in disguise.

Now, you thought,
Peace is come
A respite-time to grow and keep
But the waters rage,
And rage,
And you know, really,
It's just anger in disguise.

Come, you thought,
It will get better,
And the skies clear,
And my eyes clear,
But it rains,
And rains,
And you know, really,
It pains.

f (x) means do to x whatever f means
and f^(-1)(x) means do the opposite.

If seasons were functions
I'm stuck in the inverse
universe.

Confused.

I am caged in glass.
My thoughts on full display to see--I try to catch them, pull them back--But they flit away giggling, and almost malicious.

I forget that my mind is not glass but walls; that my eyes do not always reveal my heart, neither the good or the bad, and I never know: Did you really hear me?

I knock on your walls, not knowing they are only cardboard, not realizing they have fallen on your head. I see brick, and stones, and cold, cold iron, icy marble, torpid and wary. I cannot see your frantic scramble to set your pride to rights.

Do you feel any better?

...


I see a light bright and glorious that reminds me of a day in the way a memory of the sun points to that glowing orb. But my fingerprints on the mental glass are greasy and black; they remind me that I am separated--but not for long. I push it over--it shatters! Jagged shame cuts deep--but I must get out! Step by step of agony to the light.

Peeking Out From My Past--

Oh, hi! Come on in! Don't bonk your head on the doorway--it's a little low. So good to see you!

Tea or coffee? I'll just be a minute... won't you sit by the fire?

Oh, my visitors on the sofa? These are a few old friends of mine--very old friends. A couple of stories--a couple of poems--a couple of songs. And I think a drawing or two. They dropped by for a visit--haven't seen them in a while--and I find I didn't remember them quite accurately. Somehow I thought they were different--but then maybe I've changed.

This is the first--"And the Stars Remained". Why don't you get acquainted while I go find you a drink?

There are words for no words...

I wish I had something to say once in a while
that made sense, and you loved me.

I wish my heart could love once in a while.
Could break out of myself, and I see you.

God knows why I have no tears for you
slipping out of my heart, drop--pattering on the carpet

But I hear something blurry,
Your fuzzy pain fills my thoughts--
and I have nothing to say.

I'm sorry.