Fanaticism

Need to find YELLOW PAPER!

I have this amazing teal pen... actually, the label says "Hot Aqua".... and it's my new favorite pen. It's similar to a Sharpie, only it's a BIC, and I've just discovered it looks amazing on yellow paper.

Remember the Wheatstone pen? How it has that rubber grip that says "BIC" and the cap with the clip? It's just like that, only the pen is silver, the rubber grip is aqua, the cap is aqua, and it doesn't say Wheatstone Academy on it :-(

Looks like this:

Except aqua! NOT the blue in the middle... that is normal, plain, everyday blue, NOT aqua.

Actually, that's how I found this pen; I thought it looked like my Wheatstone pen... which is out of ink... and I had a little cash to spend. That always makes me happy... so I bought it! And now I really like writing with it.

I love writing. Can I say it again? I love writing. Just writing random words, in crazy lettering, or in fancy script. Aren't words so amazing? The rhythm, the cadence, the sound... the look on paper... Anyway, writing with my new pen on yellow paper makes my precalc notes instant art--which makes studying very happy :-D

Only problem? My paper supply is running out! I've only just discovered how much I love writing with my "Hot Aqua" pen on yellow paper, and at this time tomorrow I won't be able to! I hate it when this happens...

But no! I have some decent rainbow-y paper that might work... Ooh, how will that look?

...

LORD, thank You for happinesses like fancy pens and precalculus!

...

The Wheatstone video came a couple of days ago—and wonder of wonders, I tensed up watching it— "What would they think of me now?"

Old doubts have re-inhabited my mind. Disgust. Pain. Depression.

No! They have no authority here; yank their throbbing roots out of your heart...

Oh, how much I want to remember!

Remember being part of a whole—not isolated.
Remember being happy.
Remember being satisfied, yet not complacent.
Remember being surrendered.
Remember being almost...

Almost who I wanted to be.